Back2goforward

A birthday gift, 10950 days in the making!

Posted on December 29, 2011 by Mateo

One day my little brother sent me a pic saying, “guess who this is?”. I paid it no mind since I was at work. After getting off from I responded to find out who the girl was. His response was, “you can’t see the resemblance?” While the thought crossed my mind when I peep at it the first time, but as quick as it popped up in my mind it faded just as quickly. He eventually said, “that’s our little sister, Pilar”. He wanted to know when I’d be home to speak on three way.

I forwarded to pic to my wife, then called my brother since text wasn’t working, I couldn’t type fast enough and his responses took way to long to return with answers I couldn’t wait for. Turns out, he found her via Facebook and not even her but a friend of hers. My ride from work home was extremely long. My little sister had been found. Three years ago I didn’t even know I had a sister, but as we connected with our biological family it was found that there was a third sibling that no one knew about either.

I will say that while I’m happy to have met my biological family the notion that I’d be speaking to “MY SISTER” has been the most surreal moment thus far. See this connection is the closest one I have to my biological mother, which as I’ve said in previous posts is lost.

I got home and my little brother got us on three way. We spoke for about ten minutes. With so much on my mind, our conversation was rather brief, I didn’t get a chance to get her number and my little brother was supposed to text me her info and my info to her. The night hours came and my brother had forgotten to send me her number. I spent the entire night tossing and turning, unable to sleep. I thought I’d pass out at work but I was amazingly wired the whole day. I got her information before leaving work and spoke with her for a bit, and wondered when we’d get together. She lives in Connecticut and travels to Manhattan every so often. The upcoming weekend she’d be in Harlem and wondered if we could meet for lunch. With out even thinking my response was yes. If I had something else to do it would be cancelled.

I spent the next two days unable to sleep awaiting the weekend. My body was running on fumes yet I was in the best of moods. I was going to meet my little sister. I dealt with the last moment nervousness before meeting family but my little sister had made me a mess. We spoke, text every day, several times a day leading up to our meeting.

With family in tow Saturday, I went out to meet my sister, my son his aunt, my wife her sister-in-law.

Our meeting was the best! We’ve texted chatted, every single day since our meeting. At times we jump on Skype or Google hangouts. I’ve gotten to speak to my new nieces, who are eager to meet me and my son. I’ve also finally gotten a full nights rest. I’ve missed over 10,950 days of my little sister life as she has of mine. I didn’t get a chance to be that over bearing big brother, or over protective big brother, to tell her no guy is good enough for her. She’s a grown woman the early years are gone for us, but we have the future to look forward to.

This has been by far the best gift I could have gotten right before my birthday!

Posted in Adoption, family, Life | Tagged ADOPTION, family, LITTLE SISTER, time | 3 Comments

F**king AWESOME!!!!!

Posted on December 29, 2011 by Mateo

I’d be lying if I said I tried hard to find a more appropriate title to describe this post and the last few months but honestly I didn’t.

Over the past two years I’ve been meeting family from my biological mothers side. Still no one seems to know where my biological mother has disappeared to or what has become of her. There are rumors but nothing really concrete.

Sometime around September my Uncle, (my bio-mothers oldest sibling) who I’ve spoken to plenty of times over the phone, called to let me know he and his wife would be in New York City and if I could make time to finally meet. Initially we were going to meet for lunch in Manhattan, but ended up going to visit them where they were staying, at his brother-in-laws house, who live out in Long Island. At first I wasn’t to nervous but looked forwarded, that was until I got to Penn station. The weather was nice but I was sweating like it was 100 degrees and I had on complete gear on. My t-shirt was so soaked, I had to run into K-Mart to buy a pack of t-shirts.

Our meeting was very pleasant and welcoming, not that I expected anything else. My biological family has been nothing short of awesome. We spoke about everything my upbringing, my feelings, about the whole situation of being adopted, what they knew of my mother. As they asked questions and I answered, they sat and listened to every word I said. I was sitting in this living room with not just family because of the ties, but they actually had memories of me. What I also saw was geniune happiness at the fact that I was well. That the child they had spotted memories of had turned out okay and had become a man. I also saw sadness, as if they also had been cheated, of not being there, that though I was well I also realized wasn’t the only one who lost something. We laugh most of the evening, but every once in a while someone would be seen being wiping away tear. When I spoke with one family member another could be seen out the corner of my eyes just looking at me in amazement. I stayed well past the time i thought I would, and had a great time. My uncle, ended up taking the kids as well as me for ice cream in the evening!

By the time we left plans had been made for us to return the following weekend. Since then my Uncle and Wife gone back home to Texas, and my family has hung out with my new uncle and aunt from Long Island on several occasions.

I’m not quite sure how to end this post, so I’ll just say stay tuned for the next post! I promise it’ll be awesome times two!

feel free and check out my other posts on adoption:

http://back2goforward.com/my-life-in-motion-adoption-back2goforward/

http://back2goforward.com/hope-this-letter-find-you-well/

http://back2goforward.com/at-the-cross-road-of-adoption-and-life/

http://back2goforward.com/adoption-unseen-ties-to-the-past/